Online Poker Forum at Full Tilt Poker

Camby24 · Royal Flush Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 863

Not sure if this should go here or POKER STORIES!!! But I just wanted to hear the best lines people have said or heard playing poker. One of the best i've heard on here was, "If it wasnt for donks, suckouts, or river rats, I would be the Michael Jordan of poker!!!"

deuce_wins · Flush Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

I have a few from the same hand at a $1/$2 B&M game:

After my semi-bluff, quadruple reraise ($50 to $200) on the river - "I suppose my trip 8's, Ace kicker are no good". Flop gave him a pair of 8s and the river gave him his trips. There were flush and straight options on the board though. And he lead the betting the entire way and I just called him, and no reraise until the river.

After he folded and I showed him my pocket Ks - "Motherf'r I'm going to kick your ass!". He promptly grabbed the rest of his chips and left the poker room. I took about $200 that hand from him.

big-boy-ramsey · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:38 am Post subject:

Sitting in a live game in a casino on the miss gulf coast. One of the guys at the table was there with his wife who was playing slots. She walked up behind him with one the big plastic coin cups in her hand.After a few minutes she all of a sudden puked into her cup of qauters,she turned nine different shades of red and says"i thought i had to burp!" The dealer then busted out laughing and said"im glad you didnt have to fart"

LOL...it took me 10 minutes to type this cause i was laughing so hard just remembering it!!

Big Slick x13x · Forum Icon Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4117 Location: ROK

T5o is my favorite hand....craziest thing I've ever heard at the poker table.

UFO1947 · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:38 am Post subject:

g_420man · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:10 am Post subject:

about ayear ago i was playing in a $1.25 90 person sng and before the first hand was delt a player said "Im Phil Iveys brother" when the first hand was delt he went all in and someone called him. He had 52 off suit and the person who called him had aces. he was the 1st out LOL. It was so funny.

missjugsalot · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:43 am Post subject:

last week : Player said " the odds of goin pocket pair vs pocket pair is 1 in 28,000"

walter3215 · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:45 am Post subject:

Yesterday here on FTP. "Well I was ahead until you won"

Camby24 · Royal Flush Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 863

THis one might be my all time favorite!!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cOe0vatHo3k

HAHAHA "21!!!"...."I told you 21, aw **** i thought we were playing blackjack"

girlypro · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:11 pm Post subject:

#1: A while back, as I was just sitting down at a 5/10 NL table in AC, a man quickly said: "Wow! You look just like my 5th wife." Everyone started laughing, of course.

He then began flirting with me, so much so that I couldn't concentrate on the game, and had to get up to take a break. I found out from the floorperson that he was a 30-something whale from Texas, who was incredible wealthy, and enjoyed collecting trophy wives, lol.

When I returned to my seat, this man was no longer at the table. I looked at my stack of chips, and noticed it had grown, yet I hadn't been playing? Turns out the whale was given the OK to leave the remainder of his chips, about $700 worth, right next to mine. Underneath them I found a business card with the words "call me" written on the back. Laughing

#2: At a mid-stakes limit game, there were two players involved in a hand that was capped on the flop, turn, and river: a very grumpy guy who had been running bad and losing a lot of money, and a petite asian lady who was very quiet. She ended up winning the hand, which left this guy broke, and even more angry. As he got up, he picked up his empty rack, got behind the lady, and actually hit her in the head with it. He was quickly kicked out of the casino. When the room's manager came rushing to the table, he asked the lady if she was OK? Her response, verbatim: "I'm OK, he no scare me at all, I know the Kung Fu!" Laughing

Pokergal812 · Pair Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Jersey

lmao girlypro -- two good stories!!

I once played a newbie who threw the dealer button at me and went insane when on a board of

889-9-10 (don't remember suits)

got shipped the (un-raised by the way) pot with A-7

He had pocket fives and couldn't understand how his pocket pair lost to my "nothing" couldn't understand that the concept of how eights and nines with an ace kicker could beat him. Just kept ranting but I have a pair and she has nothing. He truly believed that the dealer and I must've been in cahoots to scam him out of his twelve dollars or whatever low stakes it was...

The poker room manager came over to try to settle the dispute and when he calmly tried to explain why I won to the man again, he wouldn't listen, just took his chips and swam away....

Pokergal812 · Pair Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Jersey

lmao girlypro -- two good stories!!

I once played a newbie who threw the dealer button at me and went insane when on a board of

889-9-10 (don't remember suits)

got shipped the (un-raised by the way) pot with A-7

He had pocket fives and couldn't understand how his pocket pair lost to my "nothing" couldn't understand that the concept of how eights and nines with an ace kicker could beat him. Just kept ranting but I have a pair and she has nothing. He truly believed that the dealer and I must've been in cahoots to scam him out of his twelve dollars or whatever low stakes it was...

The poker room manager came over to try to settle the dispute and when he calmly tried to explain why I won to the man again, he wouldn't listen, just took his chips and swam away....

sloshedzeus · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 9:43 pm Post subject:

I was playing limit at the Cannery one night and we had one man at the table who was really bad at the game. Once he was in a hand, which was most of the time, he would almost always be in to the river no matter what. You could bet or raise for value against this guy with the modest of hands.

On one hand, he was head up against another player who was a regular at the Cannery. I don't remember exactly how the hand went, but on the river the board showed 6 7 8 9 10 with no flush possible.

The new guy bet and the regular raised. He then raised again, and they both kept raising eachother about seven or eight times. (There is no cap when head up at the Cannery)

The new guy finally just called and the regular turned over his hand to show a jack. The new guy looked at his hand again and tossed it into the muck and said..........

I had the other end!!!!!!!

Camby24 · Royal Flush Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 863

LMAO!!!

mathman1115 · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:17 pm Post subject:

A classic line from an aunt on my wife's side of the family, during a friendly home poker game with dealers choice:

"I hate this Hold Them game. I want to play real poker, with wild cards......"

	Full Tilt Poker is licensed by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission. © Copyright 2004 - 2005 FullTiltPoker.com., All Rights Reserved